I help people improve their English in just a few minutes every day so they can improve their job prospects, increase their salary, and so they can communicate like a native, with fluency and with confidence... Sign up and get a free speaking kit...
How to make difficult conversations easier in English
Welcome to1%Every Thursday you receive tips and content to help you improve your English skills, 1 % at a time. Arguments, complaints, and disagreements are all common when dealing with opinionated humans in the 21st century. In times of social media, people are more accustomed than ever to expressing their thoughts, and often in ways that are considered rude and inappropriate. Fortunately, the way we communicate offline is different to how we interact online (for the moment at least!). In-person, we are more pensive regarding our word choice and we tend to avoid conflict and negativity more. But what should we do when we need to have that difficult conversation? Or how should we handle the situation if we are the one dealing with a complaint or a dispute? The first thing to note is that a difficult conversation can be a catalyst for growth. If you work in the service industry then any negative feedback or complaint should be seen as an opportunity to improve. The problem is when people are over-sensitive to criticism they become defensive and thus fail to acknowledge how an observation could in fact help them. In hospitality, complaints are common. A good way to deal with them is to have a policy that everyone is familiar with and uses. This will help employees to communicate in the same way and to use language that helps to diffuse the situation and offer a solution. Another positive of a 'negative' conversation is that it provides an opportunity to really connect with someone. When someone is sad or comes to us with a problem, we have a tendency to try and fix things for them. However, there may be a better solution. The next time someone starts to complain or speak negatively, you can use Vanessa Van Edward's NUT framework: The first step is to NAME the emotion. For example: I understand why you are feeling disappointed with____. The second part is to UNDERSTAND it, which means asking questions. For example: Have you started feeling disappointed recently or have you felt this way for a long time? What exactly is making you feel disappointed? The third part is to TRANSFORM the emotion, which means changing the focus towards solutions, which again requires asking questions. For example: Would you feel less disappointed if_____? Would you like my help with ______? By following this process and asking the right questions, you can really connect with a person, and turn what was potentially a negative situation into a positive one. And, a final thought: Time and place matters. Don't complain to someone or express your frustration if you don't have a lot of time, or if the other person has to leave quickly. Make sure you have enough time to express your complaint etc. and there's enough time for the other person to react too. And, wherever possible, choose a neutral place to have a difficult conversation. This helps people to be more relaxed and less rigid. Imagine your boss says: "Come to my office right now, I need to give you some negative feedback." You would immediately feel intimidated and defensive. However, if the boss says: "Let's take a walk, I want to ask you about something..." Maybe you would be more curious than defensive. So, by starting from a mindset of growth, using the right words and having a complaints policy, as well as using the NUT framework and thinking about time and place, difficult conversations can actually become easier, and really beneficial for everyone involved. You just need to start... TIPS
CONTENT
A CHALLENGEInstead of being defensive when someone criticises, complains or argues with you, try to see the conversation as an opportunity to connect and grow. Also, use the NUT framework and see how it is a game-changer for understanding people, and for bonding with them. You just need to start... AN INSPIRING QUOTE"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning." Bill Gates. TAKE OUR FREE 2 MINUTE QUIZ TO DISCOVER YOUR SPEAKING LEVEL
If you want to improve your communication in English, book a free call to see how we can help you: https://calendly.com/ben--palmer/30-minute-calls If you want to learn English, you can read the How to (finally) learn English book: https://lighthousetraininggroup.com/books/ Out on Amazon! Find out more about us at https://lighthousetraininggroup.com/ Ben PS: Keep progressing! |
1%
I help people improve their English in just a few minutes every day so they can improve their job prospects, increase their salary, and so they can communicate like a native, with fluency and with confidence... Sign up and get a free speaking kit...
Welcome to 1% Every Thursday you receive tips and content to help you improve your English skills, 1 % at a time. Summer time. Different routines, different locations, and different rhythms. This could mean less work and more time with the kids, less sitting in a chair for 8-10 hours and more movement, or it could mean more time to do something entirely different, like practise your English. The tendency in Spain is to wait until September to begin with new goals. 1st September in Spain is...
Welcome to 1% Every Thursday you receive tips and content to help you improve your English skills, 1 % at a time. Most people wrongly assume that all natives speak perfect English. Turn on the tv or radio, and you will hear numerous grammatical and syntactical errors coming from their mouths. You will hear them, but you may not interpret them as a mistake, because, after all, all natives speak perfectly, right? Wrong. The difference between a native making a mistake and a non-native is...
Welcome to 1% Every Thursday you receive tips and content to help you improve your English skills, 1 % at a time. On a good day, you feel like you can do anything. You work out, you study, you read, you work and play and practise your English! You feel incredible. But what happens when it's not a good day? Can you still show up and practise your English, even if it is just for ten minutes per day? The answer is yes! Why? Because the person who is able to form and maintain a habit like...