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Most people wrongly assume that all natives speak perfect English. Turn on the tv or radio, and you will hear numerous grammatical and syntactical errors coming from their mouths. You will hear them, but you may not interpret them as a mistake, because, after all, all natives speak perfectly, right?

Wrong.

The difference between a native making a mistake and a non-native is consciousness. The native is unaware or simply doesn't care that they made a mistake. The non-native, however, is always analysing their words, aware of any mistake or inability to say something. This generally means they make more mistakes because instead of focusing on the moment, they are inside their own head and unable to speak freely (like a native).

You non-natives need to give yourself permission to make a mistake. When it happens, you should know that you have made one, but you personally are not a mistake or a bad speaker. You should not identify yourself with mistakes, they happen in moments but they don't define you. It's like when the person who has failed a math exam says, "I'm bad at math." No, you are not bad at math, you just did the exam badly. Too often we generalise our mistakes and turn them into our identities and this adds a psychological pressure that gets in the way of improvement. And the more psychological pressure we create, the worse we speak (or we avoid it all together). In short, we are our own worst enemy.

The journey to the goal of ideal self-expression in English is a never-ending one (even for a native, as we can always learn more). Learners must use negative feedback data like mistakes and corrections to modify direction. Mistakes are guides telling you, "Don't go this way, go that way," or, "It could be better to do x instead of y." The English learner who adopts a growth mentality is always appreciative of these instructions because they recognise that this critique allows them to move forward, and that their level and development is not static, it's dynamic and they are in a constant state of growth. When an English learner takes this mentality, a mistake suddenly becomes more desirable, because the learner can use it as a way to reach a higher level of expression.

As an English learner, you are responsible for recognising areas where you can improve. You know how you feel in certain situations and you know your strengths and weaknesses. Also, if your negative feedback data is always the same, then you know how to correct course so you can reach your destination faster. This is positive. It's only negative when you ignore your feelings and the data and then wonder how you can reach your goal.

So remember: you are not a failure if you make a mistake, the same as a toaster is not a failure if it burns your toast, or the same as your body is not a failure if it feels tired, or the same as the baby who is learning to walk is not a failure if he or she falls down. The 'mistake' just represents the information needed to do something better or different next time.

You should also remember that the person who talks more in English has a greater probability of making mistakes, and that those 'mistakes' can actually be used as an advantage.

It's a mental shift.

You just need to start...

TIPS

Have a system for recording your mistakes: I recommend that my students buy a notebook to record vocabulary in one side and 'their' mistakes in the other. You should review your mistakes so you can eliminate them and keep progressing.
Psychology: Accept your mistakes. Accept yourself. Be yourself. You won't realise your potential if you ignore that unique something: you!
Growth: Use mistakes to your advantage as a way to grow!

CONTENT

A system for recording mistakes:

Buy your small, pocket-sized notebook.
Write your mistakes at the back.
Write: the mistake; the correction; 2/3 more examples using the correction so you are familiar with it.
Review your mistakes every day if possible.

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